My mothers personal story of the Israeli invasion of Lebanon, translated from its original Arabic text.
Bleeding, after bleeding, after bleeding. War and destruction, murder and expulsion. Where is the way out? What is our destiny? Death is everywhere. There is no security under your sky, O Lebanon. There is no safety in your streets, O Beirut. It is death that comes where you don’t expect. It is death that will teach us life.
Here I am, bringing back a twenty eight year old memory, a memory that had passed, but not before taking with her all that is beautiful in my life.
Twenty eight years ago, I was living in what was called The Western Area in Beirut. It acquired that name after the civil war in Lebanon. My mom used to fear for us from the breath of air. We were all she had after my father’s passing away. I used to work in a bank. Then, I had to take two different buses to get from al-Shiyah to al-Barbir, and then to al-Masarif area where I worked, now called Downtown.
I remember one of these bloody days.
That day, after I finished work, I took my first bus to al-Barbir area. Once I arrived there, I heard a convulsing sound like thunder. It was the Israeli military planes. Horror crept into me.
I didn’t know which direction I should go. People were escaping the streets. Everyone was looking for rescue, for shelter. I started running, aimlessly.
I didn’t know the area or the streets. I saw a place where a lot of people gathered. I headed in their direction, hoping to find shelter. But how horrific was what I saw. They were not people. There were pieces, fragments of people carried into a nearby hospital. I knew then I was close to a hospital in Sabra area.
Oh dear God! What is this? It is a massacre! People are screaming insanely. The scream has gotten louder than the roaring of the planes. I didn’t know what I should do. I sat down where I am and started crying and talking to myself: what happened to my family? What am I to do?
I stayed where I am until the bombing became less intense.
I saw a taxi cab nearby and begged him to take me to my hometown. When I arrived there, I found a ghost town. No one in the streets except for my mom standing next to my house, waiting for me, with fear and tears in her eyes. She grabbed me in her arms and said: “Thank God you are OK. Go ahead and pack. We are not staying here anymore.”
We couldn’t find a car to take us to a safe place. All the roads were threatened with bombing. We had no choice. We had to stay in our house. And it wasn’t easy. Screaming was everywhere. People are racing one another to get what they need to survive. People were killed by Israeli bombs while trying to buy bread for their children. How difficult is life in the presence of people who have no mercy and where every life is threatened.
We stayed most of the time in the place we thought would be the safest in our house — the bathroom. It had a water pool on top of it. More than a week we were in this situation. Every hour and the other the building shakes as if it’s going to collapse on our heads. Each of us fears for the others as much as she fears for herself. And my mom is trying to distract us from the thought that we are on our way to die. Every now and then, she asks us to do some crochet and the likes of handiworks to distract us. We lost sense of night and day. The sky was bright all night with the bombs.
Once the bombing slowed down, our brother came to take us to the South because Israelis reached the borders of Beirut. And another torturous journey began. We had to pass through Israeli checkpoints, on foot, while carrying what we needed to survive. This is a different kind of torture. It’s the torture of humiliation to the occupier of our land. We stayed in the South for about a month. The Israelis used to intentionally humiliate us by entering our homes at any time they wanted, as if they owned, not only the land, but everything on it as well.
As soon as it became quieter in Beirut and the Israelis withdrew from there, we moved back. Later on, things were getting back to normal, and we were visiting my cousins in the South every weekend. But that weekend, I wish we hadn’t decided to go a little bit earlier than we used to. We arrived there to see my cousin, Huda, sitting with her friend having tea under an olive tree. When she saw us, she wondered humorously “You are not used to coming here this early! Who’s looking forward to die amongst you?” And she barely finished the sentence before a bomb drops on their heads. Oh, dear God! I wish I weren’t there to see my cousin, only 15 years old, dying in front of my eyes.
My brother hurried and put her in his arms while screaming: “No. No. Don’t die! We will bring the ambulance right now.” We all tried to do something to help, and we managed to put in her in a car quickly and headed to the closest hospital. But Huda died before we reached the hospital.
We had a breakdown. More than five girls were hit by this bomb. Some of them were paralyzed and some had terminal injuries. Even my uncle was badly injured. They killed her and mutilated the others mercilessly, and for no reason whatsoever.
Nevertheless, they could never kill our love for the land that was watered by the blood of our loved ones. It’s a bitter drink that we were forced to drink in Lebanon. But the days have taught us to not drink the bitter drinks separately, but drink it together. And we did, and we held our ground, and, eventually, we became victorious.